"A Separation" and "Kill List"

I was reluctant to see the Iranian-made drama, "A Separation", because I thought it was going to be the story of a brave Muslim woman, struggling for independence under Sharia Law. Thankfully, though, it was clear from the every first scene, in which a husband and wife are seen filing for divorce in front of a judge, that this was not "The Stoning of Soraya M". Both husband and wife seemed sympathetic and the judge came off as reasonable and unbiased.

So, at this point, I was definitely relieved, but still assumed I was in for "Portrait of an Iranian Marriage": two dreary hours of flashbacks to happier days, juxtaposed with scenes of a now miserable husband and wife arguing about past betrayals and fighting over who is going to get custody of the kid.

Wrong again! When the next series of scenes focused not on the film's central couple, but on a woman hired by the husband to help take care of his ailing father, I was really disoriented. What exactly was this movie about??

Well, I don't want to ruin the experience for you, but suffice to say, the couple's separation ends up being complicated by an interesting, morally ambiguous crime investigation! I did not see that coming!

So, "A Separation" ends up working as a domestic drama, a glimpse at the inner workings of a rarely depicted culture, and, quite surprisingly, as a "murder mystery" of sorts.

The only quibble I have with the film: as I said in my review of "Martha Marcy May Marlene", ending a movie by cutting to black immediately prior to a particular key moment is becoming the ultimate art-house cliche - and it's really beginning to get on my nerves. Too often, I feel it's a cop-out for the filmmakers, as if they realize that they've written themselves into a corner, where there are only two possible endings and neither one is quite satisfying, so they decide to abruptly stop the film before either can occur, hoping that the audience will find the act of imagining what the ending could be more tantalizing than actually witnessing it. (Though, in fairness to writer-director Asgar Farhadi, in this case, he was probably right: another ten minutes of this storyline would have probably been really anti-climatic.)

Grade: B+

Another film that begins as a domestic drama before veering off into more unpredictable terrain is "Kill List", a British horror film that is very much a spiritual descendant of 1973's "The Wicker Man". In fact, one could call it "The Wicker Hitman". "Kill List"'s ending isn't quite as haunting as "The Wicker Man"'s, however, largely because I'm not sure it holds up to close scrutiny. Even after a second viewing, spent closely watching for clues that could shed light on the film's "shocking" conclusion, I was not convinced that it all logically hangs together. There's a very fine line between "doesn't explain everything" and "doesn't make any sense"and this film lives right on that edge. Still, for fans of the offbeat, the movie is a fun, dark ride and worth seeking out. I assume it will have a long shelf-life as a cult favorite.

Grade: B

"The Woman in Black" and "Chronicle"

"The Woman in Black", starring popular man-boy Daniel Radcliffe , is the weaker of the two haunted house films opening today, but if "The Innkeepers" isn't playing in your town, "Black" might be worth a matinee. This is a movie that works incredibly hard (maybe even too hard) to be spooky, employing almost every ghost-story cliche in the book (old photographs with the eyes scratched out, a rocking chair rocking by itself, clown dolls, eerie children - pretty much everything but a vintage record player playing creepy, old-timey music), but when you have a movie that jumps out and screams "Boo!!" at you as many times as this film does, a few of those attempted scares are bound to land. I found the ending mildly intriguing, too, but I'll bury my thoughts on that at the bottom of this entry.

Grade: B-

I would ordinarily never see a movie called "Chronicle", no matter what it was about, but the reviews were so good that I felt obligated to check it out. The good news (for me, anyway) is that it's not the "Narnia" or "Clash of the Titans" or "Hobbit"-type sword and/or sorcery film that the title suggests and is, instead, yet another "found footage" movie, a notoriously hit-or-miss genre that, unlike fantasy films, tends to work for me a bit more often (the "Paranormal Activity series, "Cloverfield") than not ("Apollo 18", "The Devil Inside"). The bad news, however, is that this isn't a horror film, really - it's more of a superhero origin story about teenagers with telekinesis. Imagine "Hancock" meets "The Fury".

While this might sound like fun (and, apparently, for some critics it is), I wasn't that impressed and here's why: for a "found footage" film to work for me, 1) I have to believe that there is a legitimate reason for characters to be filming everything they do, 2) I have to be able to piece together in my mind, even if the film doesn't explicitly state it, who might have found this footage and edited to together for the world to see, and 3) the footage must feel real, it can't appear professionally filmed or acted out by real actors.

In my opinion, "Chronicle" fails on all three counts:

1. I can sort of get why the film's central character, a picked-on teenager and a battered son (played by the DiCaprio-esque newcomer Dane DeHaan) would want to document his abuse, but explain to me why there is a second character, a hot female, who also films all her daily interactions, other than the need for someone to capture moments in which our lead character is not present! Most of us go our entire lives without meeting one person who films every single moment of their waking lives, but the characters in this movie, know two of them!

2. The first third of this movie is filmed with one camera, but then that camera gets left behind at one point and is subsequently buried underground. So, how are we seeing that footage!?? It's a hard concept to wrap your head around, but it appears that we are not supposed to believe that we are witnessing home-movie footage assembled long after the film's events, but that we are witnessing those events as they happen via character POV shots that just happen to be filtered through a camera lens.

3. The home-movie footage in the film does not resemble any home movie footage I have ever seen. Despite the hand-held camera angles, the images shot have the visual look of every other Hollywood feature film. I know technology has come a long way since the days of VHS, but how expensive would a home video camera have to be to be able to shoot images that are always perfectly in focus and have the rich visuals of something designed by a professional cinematographer? And even if such a camera did exist, how expensive would it have to be? Could an unemployed high school kid, so poor that he has to rob a convenience store just to pay for prescription medication for his dying mother, possibly afford two of them!? (And how convenient that the cute blonde neighborhood girl is apparently using the exact same camera, so that there is no need for "Chronicle"'s film-making team to change film stocks when switching from one character's footage to the other's!)

I'm guessing that the movie is probably getting fairly positive reviews due to 1) low expectations, and 2) critics being in the mood for something lite and summery after having to sit though such heavy and/or dreary winter releases as "W.E.", "Pariah", and "In the Land of Blood and Honey".

Grade: C+

And now, for those that have seen it, my quick thoughts on the ending of "The Woman in Black"... After the lengths Harry Potter went to provide closure to The Woman in Black so that she could let go of her feelings of vengeance and finally leave this world for the next, my first thought when she led his young son onto the railroad tracks in front of the oncoming train was, "That's kind of dickish of her", but then, upon reflection, as I left the theater, it occurred to me that, in leading both Harry Potter and his son to their deaths, she was, in a way, returning a favor. She was reuniting his family, just as he had reunited hers.

Previewing February 2012

Well, we made it through January! "Haywire" sure helped. Here's what lies ahead...

FEBRUARY 3rd

This week, Drew Barrymore stars in a movie called "Big Miracle". If the title isn't enough to turn you off, note that 1) it's about whales, 2) until recently, it had the even worse title "Everybody Loves Whales", and 3) it's directed by the man who brought us "Dunston Checks In", "The Beautician & The Beast", and "License to Wed".

An aside: whatever happened to Drew Barrymore? She was never the world's greatest actress, but she used to be fun, at least.

Also opening: "The Woman in Black" (starring that British kid who was in a bunch of wizard movies I never saw), "W.E." (directed by 80's pop singer Madonna Louise Ciccone), and something called "Chronicle" (and I have no idea what that is).

FEBRUARY 10th

Speaking of terrible titles, how about this one: "Journey 2: The Mysterious Island"! Okay, it's more or less a sequel to "Journey to the Center of the Earth" - even though it is made by completely different people and only has one of the same cast members (and it's not Brandon Fraser!) - but why not call it "Journey to the Mysterious Island"? I mean, is "Journey to the Center of the Earth" so beloved that we MUST MAKE SURE that everyone knows "Mysterious Island" is loosely related to it in some way by stuffing a number 2 into the middle of title?? Are we now supposed to call the last movie "Journey One" and this one "Journey Two"? Aren't those kind of affectionate nicknames for a series of films no one is really all that crazy about?

Also opening on this surprisingly busy weekend: "Safe House" with Denzel Washington and the suddenly desperate-for-a-hit Ryan Reynolds, "The Vow" with Rachel MacAdams and (yawn) Channing Tatum, and the new 3-D version of "Star Wars: Episode Whatever Who Gives a Fuck" starring some kind of rastafarian lizard muppet and a little blonde kid as Darth Vader.

FEBRUARY 17th

More terrible titles: "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance", "The Secret World of Arrietty", and "This Means War". The first is your usual Nicholas Cage junk, the second is a Japanese cartoon, and the third is some sort of romantic spy comedy starring Reese Witherspoon, Bane, Teenage Captain Kirk, and Chelsea Handler. Of the three releases, I'm most likely to see "This Means War", if only because Witherspoon is a very attractive woman, but the movie itself looks to pretty disposable to me, like a "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" for the "Gossip Girl" generation.

FEBRUARY 24th

"Tyler Perry's Good Deeds" and Amanda Seyfried's "Gone" both open, but the movie I want to see and, in fact, dare I say it, cannot wait to see is "Wanderlust"! The way the film's release date has been shuffled around is definitely cause for concern, but writer-director David Wain ("The State", "Wet Hot American Summer", "Stella", "The Ten", "Wainy Days", "Role Models", "Children's Hospital") hasn't let me down yet.

WHAT I AM MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING

"Wanderlust"

WHAT I WILL NOT BE SEEING UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

"Big Miracle", "Tyler Perry's Good Deeds", "Lil' Darth Vader"

(I love Paul Rudd's line reading of "Oh, I got fired.")

"Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie"

I found about eleven minutes of "Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie" funny. Trim out the other 81 minutes and you'd have a pretty great episode of "Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!".

I consider myself a fan of the film's creators, Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim - I even had a "Jan and Wayne Skylar, Married News Team" calendar on my cubicle wall for all of 2007, much to the disgust of many of my co-workers - but, like "Awesome Show"'s later seasons, "Billion Dollar Movie" is more weird and gross than funny. I would have much rather seen a feature film devoted to the adventures of Dr. Steve Brule.

Grade: C (or, on the sketch-show-turned-feature-film-scale, not as good as "Brain Candy", but a bit better than "Run, Ronnie, Run")

By the way, though I'm not recommending the Tim & Eric movie, fans of alt comedy and 1970's/early eighties mellow rock a.m. radio (an admittedly small intersection of interests on a very unusual venn diagram) should check out "Starting From Nowhere", the deadpan "yacht rock" parody album Tim Heidecker recorded last year with "Awesome Show" music composer, Davin Wood. It's not for everybody, but I think if you listen to these two songs, you'll know if it's for you:

Live-Blogging the 2012 Screen Actors Guild Awards

6:45 - OK, I have the E! Red Carpet Show on and Ross the Intern (the poor man's Larry "Bud" Melman) is interviewing Maya Rudolph & he just said something that drives me crazy every time I hear it. You know how there are people who hate it when people say "ATM Machine" because what they are essentially saying is "Automatic Teller Machine Machine"? Well, I can't stand it when people say "I'm LOL-ing" because what they're actually saying is "I'm laughing-out-loud-ing", WHICH MAKES NO SENSE!!

6:50 - It's so weird that Maya Rudolph is married to Paul Thomas Anderson. Fiona Apple still seems like a better match for him, though there's no doubt that Rudolph is a healthier choice.

It would be interesting if Paul Thomas Anderson put Maya Rudolph in a movie... as long as she doesn't do that fake-singing schtick that she's always doing!! I used to like Rudolph, but I really think she's the weak link on "Up All Night": the stuff with Applegate, Arnett, and the baby is gold & the stuff at Applegate's workplace, with Rudolph as sort of a cross between Oprah and Jack Donaghy, doesn't work at all.)

6:58 - I can see why people think Kim Kardashian's marriage was fake. I caught a couple of minutes of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" recently and I was shocked by how much of it seemed staged. (Yes, I'm probably naive to have been shocked, but I don't watch much reality TV.)

OK, time for the show! I'm switching to TBS...

7:01 - Ooh, Jane Krakowski's dress is kind of ugly. That's a weird breast-plate thing she's got on.

7:03 - Yuck. It's those awkward "I'm (so and so) and I'm an actor" speeches that open the show every year.

Rose Byrne is so beautiful. I don't like that weird Prince Valiant hairdo she's been sporting lately. I don't like her covering up a fourth of her face with bangs, even if it is the least-interesting fourth of her face.

7:04 - Best Supporting Actor. Albert Brooks is not nominated. I'll quit beating this dead horse soon, but how did Jonah Hill get nominated and Albert Brooks didn't? Listen, I can't act at all. I show a very limited range whenever I've acted in skits or home movies because I'm just not comfortable emoting, it's not who I am. That being said, I am pretty sure I could have done almost as well playing Jonah Hill's role in "Moneyball" as he did. I'm not saying he was bad, I'm just saying that the role, in my opinion, didn't require much.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. Christopher Plummer won.

7:09 - You know how they say about some people, "Women want to be with him and men want to be him"? Well, when it comes to George Clooney, I would be okay with either being him or being with him? In fact, I'd be open to being with him, while also being him - just a couple of Clooneys, hanging out, one of them being me.

I apparently have had too much caffeine tonight.

7:10 - Best Supporting Actress.

Jessica Chastain has had a big year, but I wouldn't recognize her on the street.

Octavia Spencer won, of course.

You know, former "MTV Raps" co-host Ed Lover pointed out something interesting recently (a sentence you don't often hear!). He noticed that the only three minority actors nominated for Oscars this year (Octavia Spencer, Viola Davis, and Demian Bichir), were all nominated for playing servants. How far we've come since Hattie McDaniel!

7:20 - It's weird to see Bryan Cranston with hair.

7:21 - Outstanding Actor in a Comedy Series. Alec Baldwin!! A bit of a shocker, but not undeserved.

Boy, did you see how badly "30 Rock" tanked in the ratings last week? That's okay, though. If, in the spring, NBC has to choose between renewing "30 Rock" for a 7th season or "Community" for a 4th, I would hope it's "Community" that avoid cancelation. "30 Rock" has had a good run, but it's been a B or even a B- show for a couple of seasons now.

7:25 - Outstanding Actress in a Comedy Series. Betty White.

Okay, listen, I like Betty White. We all like Betty White. But does she really deserve all these awards for "Hot in Cleveland"? Is there anything she's doing on that show that she wasn't doing for years on "The Golden Girls"? She's not exactly stretching as an actress on "Hot in Cleveland".

7:29 - I quit paying attention for a minute. Now someone who might be Jessica Chastain is onstage.

7:31 - Outstanding Ensemble in a Comedy Series.

Oh, the adorable Melissa Rauch is in the audience. I liked her so much on "Best Week Ever", though not quite enough to watch her on "The Big Bang Theory".

I just saw a twenty-second clip of "Glee". Man, is that show not for me!

"Modern Family" won. (Psst! That show has already jumped the shark and nobody has noticed yet.)

Yuck, the cast is doing scripted schtick during their acceptance speech. These guys are getting too big for their britches. It would be nice if "Parks & Rec" could knock them down a peg at the Emmys this year.

7:42 - I haven't seen "Damages" since it moved to satellite. Is it still any good?

8:00 - Hey, it's Dick Van Dyke! If we all sign a petition, can Dick Van Dyke never die?

Mary Tyler Moore is getting a lifetime achievement award. She is indeed a legend.

I've still never seen "Ordinary People". Should I?

8:22 - John Krasinski's window of opportunity has passed. He wasted it on "Leatherheads", "License to Wed", and "Something Borrowed". No film career for you, John Krasinski!

8:24 - I could happily go the rest of my life without hearing Michael C. Hall as Dexter talking about his "dark passenger". Oh, my God, that show has gotten so bad.

8:27 - The "In Memoriam" montage. Let's see, of all the actors who died last year, which one I will miss the most! Let's see, not Bubba Smith from the "Police Academy" movies....

Hey! William Duell, Johnny the shoeshine guy from "Police Squad!", died??

Is Bob Hope's wife, Delores, really an actor?

Anyway, for who I think I'll miss the most, I think I have to go with Peter Falk. Serpentine!

8:35 - The cast of "Dallas" just came out. A lot of polite clapping.

Larry Hagman looks like a skeleton in a cowboy hat.

8:36 - Outstanding Ensemble in a Drama Series. "Boardwalk Empire". Should have been "Breaking Bad". For one thing, it's absurd that Paz de la Huerta keeps getting SAG awards!

8:41 - Best Actor. Oh, no, the guy from "The Artist" won. I really don't want it to be "The Artist"'s year.

8:51 - Best Actress. Viola Davis. It would probably be more exciting if I saw "The Help". Isn't that the movie where one character defecates in a pie and then feeds it to another character? Sounds great.

8:55 - The final award: Outstanding Cast in a Motion Picture.

Huh. "The Help" won. A bit of a surprise. Keeps Oscar night interesting.

Well, that might be overstating it a bit.

Talk to you later.